I Knew You
by deMona06
Summary: AU Harper grows up with Beka on the Maru, expect both Beka and Harper owies: my first fic, REVIEW! ch. 7 is now up and, oh my, somebody's been shot...
1.

Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, etc., I'm not making anything off this, it's just for fun, yada yada yada  
  
I Know You  
  
CHAPTER 1  
  
14 year old Beka Valentine sat outside the Meghan Harper's room in the maternity ward of a hospital drift. They had come here as a last resort, they could hardly afford it, but 19 yr. old Meghan had been in so much pain, and the baby just wouldn't be born, so, after nearly 40 hrs of frightening, difficult labor, they came here.  
  
Meghan and Damien Harper had joined the Eureka Maru, her father's ship, about five years ago. Damien had done some 'favors' for her father and, in exchange, her father gave the two newlyweds a free off some hell-hole slave planet called Earth. They eventually joined the crew, and, after her father died, leaving the Maru to her at only 12 yrs. old, they stayed to help out, to look after her. Meghan was nice, Beka really liked her: she had even temperament, was a great cook, very intelligent, a woman of infinite patience, but of course she had to be with a husband like hers. Damien Harper loved Meghan with a passion, more than he could ever care for any other creature, he was also, however, short- tempered, inconsiderate, unsociable. but a fine engineer, and he took care of the Maru.  
  
'Beka, you can come in now,' Meghan called softly, cradling her newborn on her chest as she lay. They were at a hospital drift. She had experienced unspecified complications during labor, and remained in a great deal of pain, but, she considered, looking down at the sleeping infant in her arms, it was worth it.  
  
Beka approached mother and child cautiously. In truth, she really didn't want to see the baby, didn't care. She had watched Meghan's bell grow over the past 9 months, hating the baby that grew inside. She didn't want a drooling, crying, smelly brat in her life, she never asked for one, but, then again, she'd never asked for many things that she got anyways. And she just knew that she would be the one to have to change its diapers, feed it, and all that crap when Meghan couldn't. She certainly knew the father wasn't good for it. Hell, even now, Damien Harper was in a bar 'celebrating' the birth of his first child.  
  
'So, did you pick a name yet?' Beka said with little actual interest.  
  
'Seamus, Seamus Zelazny Harper." The mother proclaimed with pride.  
  
Beka might've gagged at that, Why in the name of the Vedran Empress would anyone. her thoughts stalled as she saw him for the first time, the tiny baby sleeping so peacefully in his mother's arms.  
  
'Do you want to hold him?'  
  
"No, I.' She was caught off guard and overcome suddenly with a nervousness at the thought of holding something so fragile; it was a nervousness she didn't quite understand.  
  
'It's okay; here you go, take him, that's right, remember to support the head.'  
  
Beka, normally so 'in control,' didn't quite know what she felt as she took the newborn into her arms.  
  
Meghan smiled to herself. She knew that Beka had been ill at ease with the thought of a baby coming on board. The poor girl had lost so much in the past few years, she knew how hard life could be, and she knew a new baby would be an enormous challenge, for them all, but she did hope that Beka would come to like the idea. Still, she had been nervous. But as she watched Beka holding Seamus in her arms, she could see a shift happening within the young girl, and was content, satisfied now that everything would be alright.  
  
Beka looked down for a long while at the infant in her arms, barely a few hours old. Then, he stirred, and looked up at her with what seemed the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen. He cooed, and seemed to study her for a moment, then, with an indifferent yawn, closed his eyes and went back to sleep again. In that moment everything Beka had been feeling about the child for the past nine months changed. He wasn't some monster who had come to make her life miserable, maybe he would, but, that wasn't everything, she realized. He was just this totally defenseless little person, brand new to the universe, entirely without malice. And she loved him just then, cradling him close to her chest.  
  
TBC. 


	2. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, etc., I'm not making anything off this, it's just for fun, yada yada yada  
  
I Know You  
  
By shutmeoff06  
  
CHAPTER 2  
  
Seamus and his mother were released from the hospital soon after his birth, but only because they really couldn't afford to stay any longer. The baby was alright, but Meghan remained in pain. The doctors never had an answer as to what was wrong, but the truth was they really didn't care enough to find out. She never complained though, she was too in love with her new baby to let it bring her down.  
  
Damien, on the other hand, never showed much more than a passing interest in his new son. He was all over his wife, of course, and didn't like the baby consuming all her attention, but he didn't make much of a fuss over it. He'd picked Seamus up a few times, moments which were very fatherly, I'll give him that much, but as soon as the baby would start to cry, he would hand him off to one of the women to deal with. He never fed the kid, changed him, never did much at all, but that was who he'd always been. He took credit for things when they were good, and walked off when things got difficult, or whenever somebody else could do the job and he didn't have to.  
  
Beka was infatuated with the baby. She, of course, didn't like having to change his diapers, being woken up by his crying at night, etc, etc., but she did love being with him. She loved the way he'd grip her finger with his tiny hand, loved the noises he'd make when she tickled him or played with his toes. She also loved the way Meghan was with him. He was always calm when he was in her arms. Maybe he didn't have a good father, but he had a good mom, one who took an interest in everything about her little baby. Beka had never known her mother.  
  
She watched him lying in her old crib, moving his arms and legs this way and that, trying them out. She put a stuffed animal in front of him and squeezed it, making it sing 'twinkle, twinkle, little star.' He made all sorts of excited noises at that, reaching up for the bear. Beka put it in the crib. He touched its furry face, and studied it with his curious blue eyes before he seemed to lose interest and started to chew on its ear. Beka picked him up. He protested a little, but, with the attention span of, well, an infant, forgot all about the bear and soon found Beka's face just as interesting. Beka pulled his hand from her mouth and started to sing,  
  
'twinkle, twinkle, little star.' He made incoherent sounds, singing along.  
  
'..how I wonder what u are.' she pointed her finger at his nose and he went cross-eyed following it  
  
'.up above the sky so high.' she lifted him above her head and he made some more excited sounds, flailing his limbs  
  
'.like a diamond in my eye...' she blew raspberries [that's what it's called?] on his belly and he was ecstatic with joy at that.  
  
'.twinkle, twinkle, little star.' she put him back down in the crib  
  
'...how I wonder.what .you.are...' he calmed again as her voice dropped off, and she watched over him in silence as he yawned and fell asleep.  
  
She loved to watch him sleep, wondering what his dreams were about. She imagined they must have been good, he always seemed so peaceful when he slept. She wondered if she had ever slept so peacefully, her dreams always left her feeling uneasy, empty, afraid.  
  
Looking down at him asleep, she wanted to protect him, to ensure that his sleep would always be so peaceful, but she knew better than to make any promises. There was nothing she could do to ensure that. Bad things would happen, they always did, that was the nature of the universe they lived in, however much they tried to fight against it, it always won.  
  
She smiled sadly; she had stopped believing in other people when her father died. I mean, she had friends and all, but she had closed herself off to them, it hurt too much to get attached to people, to believe in concepts of family, only to lose it all, to be disappointed over and over again. Everyone she had ever come to love and to care about in her life, everyone she thought cared about her the same way, ended up abandoning her. And so, at the ripe old age of 14 she was fiercely independent, knew how to take care of herself. Sure, she kept the Harper's on to crew the Maru, but she had convinced herself that she didn't NEED anybody in her life, that the only person she could trust was herself, that to get too attached to others was a weakness, something that would always come back to bite you in the butt, that it was to lose part of one's self.  
  
But this baby had begun to change all that from that first moment when he had looked up at her with those astonishing blue eyes. He tore her out of her apathy; she couldn't help but let him into her heart. This really did scare her, but it was a fear she could live with, and left her wanting to give more of herself, which, surprisingly, she didn't feel left her with any less, but rather, this kid was becoming a part of her, so the more she gave, the more she felt she gained.  
  
.To be continued. 


	3. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, etc., I'm not making anything off this, it's just for fun, yada yada yada  
  
I Know You  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Beka entered the bunkroom, where Seamus' crib was. Meghan was asleep in her bunk. Meghan tried to hide it, but Beka knew that she was still in pain. She quietly crept past her.  
  
Beka peered into the baby's crib. He was playing with the bear she had given him months ago. He was sitting up on his own now, and was starting to make vaguely word-like sounds. He looked up at her with those bright blue eyes she had missed so much.  
  
'agabba!' he exclaimed with a bright smile.  
  
'What are you doing there?' she asked playfully.  
  
He looked up at her quizzically, then looked back down at his bear and, lifting it up, offered it to her.  
  
'Wow! Look at that!' She exaggerated her response, which brought a cheeky smile to his face. 'Is that for me?!'  
  
'vvvgssls,' kicking his legs pointedly.  
  
'Come here you,' she said, lifting him out of the crib, to which he made some random, high pitched baby sounds.  
  
'Wanna come get something to eat with me? Yeah? Let's go.' She opened the fridge in the mess and looked for something to eat.  
  
Seamus looked wide-eyed at all the new colors and shapes the world of the refrigerator had to offer. With one hand in his mouth, with the other he tried to grab anything in reach, which, in this case, was a container of pudding.  
  
'Yeah, want some pudding?'  
  
She shut the refrigerator door, grabbed a spoon and sat at the small mess table, Seamus on her lap. She took a spoonful of pudding.  
  
'Mmm, that's good. You want to try some too?' She brought the spoon to his mouth, which he clenched shut.  
  
'Come on, you'll like it.' He shook his head.  
  
'Oookaaay, if you really don't want any, I guess I'll just have to eat it all by myself.'  
  
He looked at her with curiosity, and watched as she had a few more spoonfuls of pudding. Then he reached for the spoon and whined.  
  
'What's the matter? You want some too? Well.. I don't know, it's awfully good.' she teased.  
  
'gsszzuuuoo,' he reached for the spoon but she held it away from him.  
  
'What do you want Seamus? Do you want the pudding?' She was enjoying the cruelty.  
  
'Puddig,' he said, still reaching for the spoon.  
  
Her mouth dropped. Did he just speak, like, an actual word?  
  
'What did you say?'  
  
He ignored her, still reaching for the spoon.  
  
'Come on, do it again, Seamus. PUDDING.' She lifted him so that he was sitting on the table facing her.  
  
He looked at her blankly.  
  
'Come on, PUDDING. You want some, don't you?' She took a spoonful and ate it in front of him.  
  
'Puddig.' He said, excited. 'puddig, puddig.'  
  
She laughed aloud. 'Meghan!' she called and gave the boy the little container of pudding for his troubles.  
  
Both Meghan and Damien Harper came rushing in.  
  
'What is it? What's wrong?' The poor woman was panicked.  
  
'Yeah, what's all the noise about? Look at this mess!' Damien complained. Seamus had already gotten the pudding all over both his face and his shirt.  
  
'Rebecca.' Meghan chastised when she too saw the mess he'd made of himself.  
  
'Oh. Don't worry about that, I'll clean him up.' Beka chirped.  
  
'Sooo, what did u call me for?' Meghan questioned, hands on her hips.  
  
Beka smiled wide, 'He spoke. Just now. He said 'pudding.'' Her excitement was visible.  
  
They both looked skeptical.  
  
'Alright, you don't believe me? Watch this.' She turned to the messy boy. 'Seamus, say PUDDING.'  
  
He looked at her a moment, then put the now empty container of pudding up to his face, licking it.  
  
Frustrated, Beka promptly took the container away from him. Then, more forcefully, said, 'PUDDING, come on kiddo, say PUDDING for me.'  
  
He ignored her, licking his fingers.  
  
Meghan snickered slightly, 'Maybe you just THOUGHT you heard him speak,' she offered. And, with that, both adults left the mess.  
  
Beka collapsed into the chair, dumbfounded. 'Thanks for backing me up just then,' she said to the baby next to her on the table.  
  
He stopped what he was doing and looked at her innocently. He extended his hand out to her,  
  
'puddig? He offered.  
  
TBC 


	4. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, etc.; I'm not making anything off this, and so and so forth  
  
I Know You  
  
By shutmeoff06  
  
CHAPTER 4  
  
'And where's the cat Seamus?' Meghan asked the child sitting on her lap.  
  
'THAT the cat' he said with excitement, pointing to a cat in the book his mother was holding.  
  
'And what does the cat say? Go ahead, read it.'  
  
He started to read, 'I .... like . to . play. in . the .park .' when he was done he looked up at her with a wide smile.  
  
She ruffled his curly blond hair. He looked back to the book and continued to read. She was so proud of him. He was 3 years old and he could already read. They hardly had to do anything; he picked things up so quickly. Yep, her boy was quite bright, very curious, very interested in the world around him. He asked questions incessantly. He wanted to know where every little thing came from; wanted to know what they were made of, how they worked and why. He'ld ask why the stars were so shiny, how the microwave cooked things, what slipstream was made of, etc. She wished she could give him the education he deserved. She wished she could give him a lot of things, but it just wasn't possible, not after the Fall, not with the way things were, they were living hand to mouth as it was.  
  
'Momma, can we get a cat too?' Seamus asked, looking up at his mother pleadingly.  
  
She chuckled and squeezed the small boy on her lap.  
  
'Maybe' she said, indulgently, 'ask your father.' On cue, Damien's heavy workboots could be heard as he walked near the bunkroom into the mess. Excitedly, Seamus jumped down off of his mother's lap and ran as fast his little legs could carry him toward the mess.  
  
'Da! Da!' He called. He found Damien making himself a cup of coffee. 'Da?' The toddler tugged on his father's pants leg.  
  
'I'm very busy, Seamus, go play with your toys for a little while, would ya?' He said casually as he walked toward the interior of the ship. Forgetting about the cat and ignoring his father's request, Seamus followed at his heels. He loved watching his dad work, watching him tinker with all the inner workings of the ship that was their home or with this or that odd machine. He thought his dad was the most talented engineer and mechanic in the whole universe. He was sure that there wasn't anything that his dad couldn't take that was broken and make better than new again. And he loved it when his dad would give him some little machine he'd made that he couldn't get to work quite right to play with.  
  
His father only ever allowed him to watch him work if he'ld sit there quietly and wouldn't touch any of his tools or disturb anything, but he was, of course, far too energetic to sit still for any amount of time and often got sent away. So he sat Indian-style on the floor as his father worked in silence. After a few short minutes, however, he began to fidget with his shoelaces. They soon became undone and, trying to put them back together again, he got them all tangled up and knotted. He whimpered, unable to undo them. Getting flustered, he stomped his foot on the deckplate, as if he could force the laces to cooperate by bullying 'em. Typical boy solution, I might add.  
  
'What did you do?' Damien asked, turning toward the noise behind him.  
  
Seamus didn't answer, but rather, stared up at him in distress, tears beginning to fill his eyes.  
  
Shaking his head, he spoke with slight amusement, 'Chaos follows you around, don't it? Well, that's quite a mess you've made, but, never fear,' he winked, 'there isn't anything in a thousand systems that Damien Harper can't fix.'  
  
He took the boy's foot and began to undo the mess he'd made of the strings on the shoe. Done, he exhaled audibly and grinned. 'See. What did I tell ya? Good as new. What do ya think, short stuff?'  
  
Seamus looked down at the new bow on his shoe, and, wiping his face on his sleeve, he sniffled and grinned. 'They fixed!!'  
  
'Damien the Great they call me.;' Seamus looked up at his father with a wide smile and giggled. '.faster than a speeding bullet, stronger than ten Vedrans.' he bent over and picked the three year old up.  
  
'Did I ever tell you about the time I single-handedly.'  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Meghan stood at the entrance to the bunkroom watching her husband tell her toddler son one of his infamous tales. Seamus was always mesmerized by them and believed every word as Damien craftily spun stories about his saving the universe, warding off magog invasions, taking on whole Dragon battalions, and saving damsels in distress. All in his spare time, of course. Damien wasn't often a very attentive father, she knew that, but she was convinced in her heart that he was a good dad; that he truly loved this child of his with the messy curly blonde hair hanging wildly over his face and the bright blue eyes and that infectious smile. Seamus was always smiling, especially though, when he had his father's attention.  
  
Seamus sat on the bunk while Damien was up acting out the plot, wielding his nanowelder as if it were a spear, he dramatically thrust, '.blood everywhere, I swear, and the magog's scream was so loud.'  
  
'Alright, alright, I think I've heard enough.' Meghan felt it was an appropriate time to intervene. Sitting on the bunk, she pulled Seamus onto her lap.  
  
'The monster, mommy.'  
  
'Yeah, doll,' Damien said,  
  
Meghan raised an eyebrow,  
  
'I was just getting to the good part.' He shared a mischievous look with his son, who was beaming.  
  
'You can continue your story another time.'  
  
Seamus began to whine, but Meghan held firm, 'I want you to help with dinner, Beka's in the mess.' With that, he jumped off her lap and ran off to the mess to find Beka.  
  
As soon as Seamus was out of sight, Meghan stood and eyed Damien.  
  
'I really don't mind you telling him those ridiculous tales of self- adulation.' she scolded playfully, '.but you really shouldn't make them so graphic, he's only 3 years old.'  
  
'Aww, Meg, they're only stories,' he put his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead, 'besides, we lived through worse in our childhood back home.'  
  
Meghan pulled back from his grip, suddenly upset, 'and that's why we left, Damien, so that our kids could grow up innocent, not knowing anything about those horrors.'  
  
'Momma! Momma!' Seamus called as he ran back into the room.  
  
Out of breath as he ran in, he blurted, 'momma, Beka splashed me with the water.'  
  
'She did?' Damien asked playfully, amused by the small boy standing in front of him half drenched.  
  
'uh huh' he shook his head up and down. 'see.' He held the front of his shirt out. 'it wet.' He obviously wasn't all that upset, however. He was just being dramatic, or trying to get Beka in trouble. Hehe.  
  
Damien snickered and turned to Meghan to see her response. Meghan tried to smile too, but began all of a sudden to sway slightly on her feet, grabbing at Damien's arm to try to stabilize herself. But, before he could react, she collapsed onto the deckplate with a thud. He rushed to her and, kneeling at her side, kept calling her name.  
  
Beka came rushing into the room, and, seeing what had happened, rushed to assist.  
  
No one seemed to pay any attention to Seamus as he stood watching somewhat dazed as the scene played out before him.  
  
TBC 


	5. 

Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, etc., I'm not making anything off this, it's just for fun, yada yada yada

I Know You

Chapter 5

--2 years later--

Meghan opened her eyes slowly. She felt so exhausted, though she'd only rarely been out of bed in months. She turned her head to watch Seamus, now five years old, sitting on the floor a few feet away from her playing. He brought the space ships, high guard and alien toys to life with all sorts of sound effects.

'Vroom, vroom, crash, bang, I'll get you!, attack!, fire!, splash, gag, aggghhh!'

He had a lively, sometimes overactive imagination. He'ld frequently climbed into bed with her at night saying he'd seen a Nietzschean or a magog lurking in the darkness. She wished his father wouldn't tell him those stories...

She coughed, distracting the boy from his play. He looked over to her and, seeing she was awake, smiled widely. He got up and went over to her. She moved so that he could sit with her.

'And who's this?' she asked, taking his hand, which was holding one of his toys, into hers. The toy was a space ship, old Commonwealth.

'it's high guard.' He said, and began to prattle on with this or that fact about the old ships.

He loved technology, and was already beginning to show a mechanical talent. He would take anything he found around the ship apart to learn more about it. Of course, he had yet to learn to put things back together again properly, much to their chagrin, especially his father's. and she did recall a rather messy incident with Beka and the coffee maker....

'I saw one once on the holo...' Seamus continued.

At the moment Beka entered the room. Seeing the two, she turned apologetically to Meghan, 'I'm so sorry, I know I was supposed to be watching him, I know you need your rest...'

Meghan waved her off, 'it's okay, he didn't wake me.'

Beka smiled weakly, uncomfortable, but hesitant to say any more. She knew that both Meghan and Seamus loved and needed to spend quality time together, and that they hardly ever got to anymore, but Meghan was sick, and needed her rest if she was going to get better. and she WOULD get better, had to. Beka didn't even want to think about the possibility, ....

Watching Beka, Meghan smiled sadly to herself. Her concern for her was so evident. She knew they were trying to make things easier, better for her. She knew they were trying to stave off the inevitable. But Meghan Harper knew that she was going to die. She knew that there was nothing that could be done to save her. They would all fight against it to the bitter end, but, she knew, and they knew, it was a battle they were bound to lose sooner rather than later.

These past couple of years had been difficult to bear, for all of them, as Meghan's pain grew more and more debilitating. She suffered frequent dizzy spells, was always weak and tired, short of breathe and suffered fevers that came and went with greater and greater frequency. Although they had visited several clinics, no one could offer her any relief, or even an explanation for her mysterious illness that was aging her prematurely.

Everyone had been doing so much to keep the burden of raising a child off of Meghan; she knew they worried a great deal about her.

She herself was worried, though less for herself than for the others. They all had their dependencies on her. They relied on her as their emotional anchor. She worried that they wouldn't be able to get along without that anchor...

She dreaded the idea of leaving Seamus, or Beka for that matter, without a mother. And she didn't want to leave Damien without a wife. She woulda given anything not to have to, but it was becoming more and more difficult to hang on, and all she wanted to do was sleep...

Meghan stroked her son's forehead, which always seemed to sedate him. he lay his on her chest.

Meghan did not want to miss him growing up... she couldn't bear the idea. Would he understand why she was not there for him?

They all shielded him as much as possible from his mother's illness, but it was difficult. Seamus needed his mother. She would put on a bright smile for him, hide the pain she was in. He would often try to get her to come play with him, to run around with him the way Beka would, but she was just too ill...

Seamus himself couldn't understand why his mom was always so tired, why she never seemed to want to play with him. He couldn't understand why she cried so often. He often thought it was because of him. He didn't like to see her so sad. He tried to cheer her up as best he could, but nothing seemed to work.

and no one else seemed to want him around her either,. Beka was always coming to drag him away from her. but he loved beka, and they always had lots of fun together. she would make him something sweet to eat, or tickle him, or tell him a story and play with him...

Seamus yawned, and curled up further into the warmth of his mother's arms. all his thoughts drifting away...

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Seamus woke up slowly, but still felt like he was dreaming.

'breakfast's ready, come and get it!' it was Beka.

He was in his mother's arms still. He was ready to just fall back asleep, but something felt different, odd. He sat up and looked at his mom's face. Her eyes were open, but curiously they stared at the ceiling unblinking. He shook her a little, 'momma?' he whispered quietly. 'momma? Bekfas time.' He reached up and brushed the hair off of her face. Her skin felt cold to the touch. He was panicked by this, and pulled the blanket up over her, hoping to warm her up again. but she didn't react to it all.

Seamus contemplated this for a moment. Suddenly something in him desperately wanted her to look at him, and stop staring at the stupid ceiling. He shook her lightly at first, hoping to shake her out of whatever trance she was in. when that didn't work, he shook harder. Something was very, very wrong, but he couldn't understand what. He began to scream in her ear, 'momma! Wake up, momma!'

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Damien and Beka heard Seamus shouting in the bunkroom. They both rushed in to find him trying to rouse his mother in confused desperation. Damien rushed over and pushed Seamus off to the side. He stood over his wife.

Beka was frozen where she was. she was unaware at first of the others, just of a cold sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew, but she didn't want to believe it had finally happened.

Then she became aware of Seamus standing in the center of the room, where his father had thrust him. His eyes were wide and he was shaking.

He spoke in a whisper, 'waz wrong with ma, da?' Damien remained silent, his back to him. 'da?' he prompted.

'what do you think's wrong with her, she's dead!' he shouted, his back still to them.

Seamus shook his head in disbelief. 'she's gonna wake up soon, right da?'

'no, she's not! She's never going to wake up again, don't you know anything, stupid boy?! She's dead!'

still not understanding, Seamus began to cry at being shouted at so violently.

Damien whirled around and struck him so hard he hit the floor. 'Get him out of here!' he shouted to Beka, who had been watching the whole scene absently, as if it were a holodrama.

She quickly and silently lifted Seamus off the floor and carried him away from the scene.

-TBC-


	6. 

A long belated THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed and encouraged me to keep this going. The first round of sparky's are on me, k?

And I've changed my name, if u haven't already noticed- was formerly shutmeoff06.

i know this story needs some work, i have the plot in my head, but could use some help executing it, so, if anyone would be willing to beta or whatever for me please email me.

I Know You

Chapter 6

Damien, Beka, and Seamus stood in the cockpit of the Eureka Maru. No words passed between any of them as Damien stepped forward and pressed a button which shot a pod out of the Maru and into the infinite darkness and emptiness of open space.

After standing there for what seemed like a century, Beka felt a small hand slip into hers. She looked down and saw Seamus who could not tear his eyes away from the small pod which held his mother as it grew smaller and smaller in the distance. She squeezed his hand tightly and he leaned heavily against her side in return.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A year later...

Beka was awoken by the body stirring slightly next to her. It was Seamus. he had taken to slipping into her room at night and climbing into her bunk with her. he clung to her nearly 24/7 these days, afraid that whatever force took his mother from him would take her from him too. And leave him at the mercy of his father.

Beka heard Damien in the bunkroom down the hallway cough loudly and turn over in his sleep. Her chest tightened.

Wracked with grief over his wife's death, Damien had turned to booze to ease the pain. If he had been a questionable father before he began drinking, if he had sometimes lost his temper or patience when sober, it was nothing compared to his behavior now.

He was taken to frequently and mercilessly berating his 6 yr. old son and striking him without cause or warning. Beka didn't know why Damien would only target the boy and not her. A large part of her wished he would target her and leave Seamus alone. But he never did. She tried to keep the boy out of his father's sight, but if he wasn't in his immediate vicinity when Damien felt the urge to lash out at something, he would go looking for him and there was always hell to pay when he found him. which he always did.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Beka, now 19, was on her way back to the Maru in the late evening. They were docked at some drift in the andromeda system. she had spent an inordinate amount of time flirting with a cute vendor and was arriving back far later than she knew she ought to. She hadn't intended to leave Seamus alone so long. .She fervently hoped Damien would be passed out by now. he usually was.

as she approached the Maru her hopes dissipated. Even from a distance she could hear Damien raging inside. She hesitated to enter, but knew that there was only one person who he could be raging at.

she raced in to find Damien screaming obscenities and meaningless accusations at the terrified boy curled up in the corner where he had obviously been thrown. he looked badly beaten, the whole side of his face was bruised, his lip cut and his shirt torn.

'oh, it's you,' Damien said dismissively when she entered.

'what are you doing, Damien?' Beka tried to keep her voice calm, unaccusing.

He chuckled drunkenly and almost fell over as he did. Then he spat out, 'teaching this rodent a lesson.' And, shoving his finger in Seamus' face, 'you don't EVER touch my things!'

'I didn't, papa, I swear I didn't. I didn't go near them, i...' his voice was small and desperate. He was choking on his tears.

'don't LIE to me!!'

Seamus let out a sob which was met with a kick.

'Damien...please' she pleaded quietly.

'shut up Beka, mind your own business' he slurred at her then reached down and, grabbing his son roughly by the arm (at which Seamus let out a whimper of pain), pulled him to his feet.

'Damien, stop!'

Seamus still in his iron grip, the child's eyes squeezed shut with pain and terror, Damien whirled around and struck Beka. She let out a cry of surprise and fell.

Damien ignored her and turned his attentions back to Seamus.

Shakily, she got to her feet. Her mind raced. She knew she couldn't take Damien on alone, she was no match for him. suddenly, an idea came to her. without thinking, she raced to her own room. She frantically dug through drawers and boxes, tossing things out everywhere in her desperation to find what she was looking for. Finally, she had it in her hands. Just then, there was a loud crash in the other room.

Beka raced back to find Damien shouting over Seamus' now unconscious form. she fumbled with the item in her hands, but when she pressed a button, it whirred loud enough for the drunken man to notice. He turned toward her, his expression at first shocked, then sickeningly bemused.

He sneered, 'what do u think you're playing at, little girl?'

'leave him alone.' She ordered.

'leave who alone?' he toyed.

'you know' the shaking in her voice unnerved her.

'do i?'

he had inched toward her enough now that she had to take a step back. But it was too late, quick as a serpent, he lunged at her, trying to grab the item in her hands. She held on though, and they struggled.

Then, suddenly, there was a flash of light, an breathless gasp, and a body hitting the Maru's metal deck heavily. 

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

poor, poor abandoned fic...

well, i feel just awful leaving it as i did, so, err, here's an update...

I Knew You

Ch. 7

Beka's knees hit the metal deck hard but she didn't feel it. Her mind was racing. There were so many thoughts screaming at her that they collided and began to merge with one another, becoming one single thought, one haunting accusation repeating itself over and over again: _you shot him._

She stared dazedly at the body before her. Then, suddenly realizing her hands were still clutching the pistol so tightly her knuckles had turned white, she thrust it away from her. The weapon landed with a loud clang on the deck, and she frantically scooted away from it until she had backed herself against a wall.

_I shot him. I shot him. I shot him… _

She felt like she was going to be sick.

_I shot him. I shot him. I shot him… _

A grunt from the corner brought her back to her surroundings.

'Seamus.' She gasped, crawling over to him. She turned him over. He grunted again and swatted weakly at her with his hand, but his eyes remained closed.

'Shay? Can you hear me?'

Receiving no reply, Beka crawled to the wall beside the child and collapsed against it. She remained there for hours, coulda been days, she didn't know, and there was no further sound or movement from Seamus.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Beka grunted as she dragged the heavy man out of the airlock. Once they were on the drift a safe distance from the Maru she dropped his legs and wiped her brow. Damien moaned. No, she hadn't killed him. He was wounded, badly, to be sure, but he was not dead. Her work done, Beka returned to Maru, glad no one had seen her.

Informing the drift authorities that there was a man in need of immediate medical attention and giving his location, Beka made her way into slipstream.

Once she was positive no one had followed her, she exited slipstream and, undoing her seatbelt she closed her eyes and took deep breath. It was not an easy decision for her to leave Damien on that drift. If left aboard, once he recovered he would surely kill either her or Seamus or both. And she couldn't let that happen. A rogue sob escaped her lips, but she quickly bit back any more and recomposed herself. It seemed to her that the weight of her responsibilities grew each day, threatening to overwhelm her. But for one responsibility in particular she would have given in when Meghan died.

With great effort she lifted herself from the pilot's seat she went into the bunkroom and sat down near the bed where Seamus lay. She took his hand. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She smiled at him and brushed some stray hairs off his forehead. His skin felt hot to the touch. He smiled back at her sleepily and closed his eyes again.

Seamus had suffered a concussion during his father's attack and some internal bleeding, but it was minor and the nanobots she had given him seemed to take care of it. But she feared his rising fever was indicative of an infection taking hold.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

'look, I can't get you the money up-front, but…'

'no dice, lady, we don't take charity cases.' And with that, the com-channel was closed.

Beka slammed her fists against the console before her, 'damnit!' she screamed in anger. This had been the third medical center she'd tried in the week since the 'incident' with Damien and this was the third time she had been turned away for her lack of funds. she knew the post-fall universe was a cold one, it was fact she accepted and had even used to her advantage from time to time, but this… this made her blood boil. she was about to scream her frustrations again when she heard a child's cough echoing through the ship.

She was at his side in seconds, helping the 6 year old sit up to ease his coughing and help him breathe. She rubbed his back soothingly as the coughing fit died out and the child could once again breathed with relative ease.

'bek..'

'shhhh…' she cooed, helping him to lie down again. She picked up a wet cloth from a nearby bowl and, wringing it out, placed the cool cloth on Seamus' sweat-soaked forehead. He managed a weak smile in gratitude. She stroked his hair for a while in silence, watching him drift off to sleep.

'Where's Da?' He asked suddenly, startling her.

'You need to sleep, Seamus.. .' She wasn't ready to answer his questions. She wasn't even sure she could give him any answers. Damien could be dead for all she knew… and if he was… how would she be able to tell him that? How was she going to tell him that she had shot his father, his only living parent? He'ld hate her forever. Heck, she'ld hate herself forever.

'Is he mad at me?' The fear in his small voice shook her out of her thoughts.

'No, no. Of course not.'

'are you mad at me?'

'No,' she laughed at the absurdity of the question. 'no, why would you think I was mad at you?'

He shrugged pathetically.

'I love you, Seamus. You're my family now and you've never done anything to make me mad at you. Well, no, actually, you remember that coffee maker you 'fixed'? I'm still mad at you for that.' She tickled his sides a bit to let him know she was kidding. He giggled and squirmed under her fingers.

Then, suddenly, his body was seized with another coughing fit. He choked, trying to draw in air, his face reddening. When it was over she pulled him into her arms and rubbed his back in circular strokes. Thoroughly exhausted, and still panting for oxygen, he fell asleep almost immediately. After a few minutes, Beka gently moved his head back onto the pillow and pulled a blanket over him. he coughed in his sleep, and Beka inhaled sharply when she saw the fresh specks of blood this left.

TBC.


End file.
